Do You Resolve Conflicts by Yelling?
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Are you a yeller? Do you yell when you’re frustrated with your children, things, or problems? Does it seem like the only time your children fight, have needs or start getting loud is when you’re on the phone? Most of the time, as a mom, you find that you are away from the conflict that has been brewing in another room for a while. You’re cooking, cleaning, or changing a diaper and the battle over toys, clothes, or you name it begins. You yell out in frustration from wherever you are, “STOP, your yelling or fighting!” You know that yelling doesn’t work either and so you begin to give a long list of ultimatums. I know what you’re thinking. And “No,” that doesn’t work either.
Just like the children in the classroom need the attention and gentle touch of the teacher, so do the children in your home. I realize that it is hard to stop in the middle of what you are doing and go to where your children are quarreling or engaging in hand-to-hand combat, but it is most beneficial if you do.
Things That Will Help You in Settling Quarrels
- Being self-aware of your urge to yell is a starting place
- Calm yourself before entering the war zone
- Speak in a low voice and bring the child/children close to you
- Realize anger causes an increase in quarreling and bad feelings
- Try to be consistent when discipline is needed
- Encourage children to forgive each other
- Help children solve the problem
These are just a few things that will help you settle quarrels between siblings and friends. Make sure you are getting closer to the problem and not yelling out instructions from another room. Children need to see your face, feel your gentle touch, (not squeezing their shoulder) and hear a soft voice instruct them.
Lord, give me the wisdom to help instruct my children in settling quarrels and forgiving one another.